That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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