whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.