What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
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I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
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Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.