I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
