Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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