i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
