its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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