He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
