Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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