And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
