I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
