FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We need to rekindle our bromance
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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