WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
