allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
