After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
