never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
