Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
