I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
