Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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