Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
