Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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