you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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