Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
