Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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