Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's Friday. Sex?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
