You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
