I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
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There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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