new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
