He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
