dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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