Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
