yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
