I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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