i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
