She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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