It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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