Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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