I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize