Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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