The maid of honor just puked.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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