If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
