Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
