Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I think I just sharted jello shots
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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