so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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