were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
