He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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