he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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