You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
