Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
