Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
