I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
