So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
