what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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