Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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