So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
