i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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