I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
All I want is dick and wine.
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