"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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