we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Your penis caused this!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
