Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
