I want to walk on stilts...naked
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize