You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
