What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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