Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
