you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
