Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
